Heartless

You wake up one day and you remember again, except this time, its not bittersweet, its just sweet, it’s a memory but not one that haunts you, it's now a distant memory, it's no longer the present, its now in the past.

It’s no longer a loss, a longing, a wanting,  its one that you remember and you can talk about and suddenly it doesn’t hurt anymore the pain is gone, the memory is here, but the pain no more, and it’s a good feeling, a great one, but the emptiness is just numbness, it doesn’t hurt, it doesn’t elevate, its just nothingnesss…stillness, it’s quiet and it’s boring and you want it back, the pain, the joy, something, anything but stillness...but you know you don’t need it back. And need is more important than want.Gone is the leap in my heart at the thought of you, , gone are the butterflies when I remember your smile, gone is my smile for you and the tear that followed, gone are the nervous jolts in my stomach when I remember your eyes looking into mine, and gone is the thorn in my side when I think of what you did,  it no longer hurts,my love for you, its gone too, it's dried up along with my tears, my heart no longer aches for you. I guess this is goodbye, I guess this is the end, and I am not so sure I want it to end, but I know it is the end. It's the end of us and the beginning of me.