I saw your ghost again last night. It was standing there, shining like a bright light in the dark sea of people in a dimly lit room, there you were. Smiling, talking,laughing like it was 1965 again.
This time though, it was different from the last, i didn't want to runaway as fast as my fragile and worn little feet could take me. This time, I wanted to stay. To reach out to you, hold your hand, and transport myself to a time when I was able to be in the same room as you. unashamed. unafraid.
I wanted to transport myself to an era when you existed, when my life was.... Simple. Maybe it was the familiar face of yours amidst a room full of strangers, the loud music, the smoke, it was all too much, maybe I was seeking comfort. Seeking someone that understood me, someone that I didn't have to make small talk with about my job, my love life, the weather, the industry, who I knew. I just wanted to talk about ......About ..... Life. But, the words - I'm a model,
An ack-tor, I'm an act-ress were penetrating the smoke filled air and cutting through the music. Everyone stressing their self importance, who they were, who they knew. I just wanted to escape. To runaway to a time when none of that mattered. When people were just.... People. Young and free....and your face represented a time of freedom. A time when nothing mattered but love and music. Everyone was equal. Love was real. I stared at your ghost for a long time last night. But the more I looked, the more I realized, life has changed, the years have gone, it won't ever be that time again. It is now a time long gone and holding into the past - hoping to conform the future to it..... It won't happen. It's gone. I need to open my heart and let it go. I need to move on.
