Escape With Me

Photo: Misma Andrews,

I need to get away. For a day, a week, a month. Or maybe just a weekend.

I want to have my senses awakened - every single one of them filled with something unfamiliar, an unfamailiar land, a new scent, perhaps a scent of fresh lavender living amongst the soft green grass, sedating me, invading my soul leaving behind a sweet peacefulness.

I want to taste the rough texture of the raspberries as I reach up and pick them off the branches, I want them to leave their pretty purple stains all over my un-manicured nails, I want to pick strawberries grown in cemented bath tubs, I want to  touch the side of your face, hold it in my palms and tell you how beautiful you are and how much your presence means to me.

I want to escape to another universe. One with no boundaries, one that has no walls and everyone is free to be themselves, say what they want without judgment, love who they want without fear, I want to pick pretty flowers and make daisy chains, I want to skip through the rice fields, covered with nothingness for miles and miles, I want climb the highest ice mountain and allow the cold, crisp air to fill my lungs as I breathe in life, and realise how precious it is to be alive in this second,  I want to see the entire world stretched out before me as I breathe out and feel its stillness.

I want to be surrounded with white ice, mist and blue clouds and even whiter skies. I am alive. I am still.

I want to ride a bike through the Austrian alps at a leisurely pace, listening to the birds above me, hearing nothing but birds, trees and stillness. I want to then fly down the graveled hill, feeling the branches of the trees and the leaves attached to them brush against me as I accelerate past them at full speed. I want to feel the wind pull back my hair and make my eyes water. I want to feel that water, stream down the side of my face. I want to feel the rush of fear as I come down that hill. I want to feel the relief as I stop and feel the stillness of the planet as my feet touch the ground. I want to hear the birds chirping in the trees above me. I want to sip port from the bottle whilst i lay in a hammock as I escape into a fantasy novel with fairies and miracles and goblins and love. I want to stay awake until the sun comes up. I want to watch it rise as I drift off to sleep, in your arms, surrounded by your love.

I find I am wasting time on nothing. Time goes so quickly, and it's ticking. I have so many unwritten dreams, so many visions, so many plans and even more desires. I have books I want to read, so many stories I want to write, I have so many unfulfilled romantic fairytales I want to live out, yet...I am afraid and feel numb. I want to run barefoot through endless fields of lillies, I want to feel that grass between my toes and under the souls of my feet. I want to fly to Italy and then catch a train to Russia just to know what it feels like to be alone in an unfamiliar, unpredictable and foreign land again, I want to feel you.

I want to build sandcastles on a beach in Cinque Terre, just like I did five years ago, but this time, I have a whole lot more heart, this time it will be different. I want to take pretty pictures there, be open to meeting the most interesting and diverse characters our universe has occupying it, I want to hear their stories, I want to write about their stories, about our encounters, about our lives on this planet and how we came to be at this very place at this very time. I want to live for I am alive.

Photo: Misma Andrews